My new Blog : aqillahzainnie.blogspot.my

Seriously though. You don't have to remind me what I need to do la. I know what needs to be done without you always ranting to me duuu. Semak ah.

-

Dulu before I was where I am now, ada kau kisah tak? Tak payah nak acah caring sangat do pasal aku. Kau mana nak pandang aku sebelum ni so why bother now? I did not need your ''encouragement speech'' nor did I need to know that you actually notice my existence, apatah lagi sekarang bila aku dah besar panjang macam ni. You want to do all that? You should've done it years before. Now it's too late. Hati aku dah keras, lattice arrangement of carbon atoms in my heart lebih mantap and padu dari diamond. Aku allotrop dengan diamond and graphite, but my heart's way tougher and colder than those two combined. Or maybe tougher and colder than all allotropes of carbon combined. Jangan mimpi aku nak rasa kesian or shit kat kau after this.
-
Kau dengan dia sama annoying. Dua2 boleh blah.

List of things for PLKN

Okay so I've been reading all the experiences by all these ex-wira(s) and wirawati(s) during their time served in PLKN. Somehow along the way I got interested in writing my own experiences because honestly, I'm still attached to PLKN in one way or another.

 

I registered late for PLKN, which is about a week late compared to other participants because of the trip to Japan.

 

Some of the basic necessities to be brought to PLKN :

 

1. A medium-sized mirror

-not too big but big enough to fit your whole face when you're looking into it (esp if you're a girl)

 

2. Water bottles

- I brought two bottles, left the larger one in my locker and brought the smaller one everywhere (mostly to the DM). There were huge tanks filled with plain water at the DM so we were able to refill anytime we want. Of course, my seat at the end of the wirawati Charlie's long table was the most strategic as it was the closest to the sink and food counter as well as the tanks of plain water. *blessed*

 

3. Toiletries

-shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, comb and so forth

 

4. Pail and bailer

-For the purpose of washing clothing items and bathing time

 

5.  A pair of slippers and a pair of comfortable shoes

-slippers are for going to toilets and in case you injure your feet, you can wear them during activities if you were given the permission to.

PLKN provided shoes for us but somebody mistook my PLKN pt shoes at the surau, so I hated wearing the shoes ever since. Hence, I wore my very own shoes at every time possible.

(Here's the thing at PLKN. People mistook your belongings all the time because they all looked exactly like one another. We gotta find creative ways to make sure that didn't happen. I marked my class shoes using pieces of trash once)

 

And now I don't feel like continuing this post. There are so many stuffs, too many, to be shared and told here. If any of you needs advices on PLKN, what to bring, what to do or not do, anything at all, do contact me. :)

 

-

Ciao.



AMIK KAU KEMARAHAN AKU TAHUN LEPAS HAHAHAHHAHA

what the fuck bruh. You have the fucking right to raise up your children the way you wish. Let me bring up my children the way I want to. Okay? You stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours.

-

Excuse you, I didn't use my fucking freedom and play all day long two days before spm starts. And I spent my fucking money, my fucking 2k for the sake of other humans. The 2k that I've collected over the years okay. Not the fucking 2k that I got simply from my parents, because I don't have that kind of 2k. I didn't claim even one fucking cent from any adults, and yet I'm the spoiled one. 

It's not like I'd fucking die if I don't marry you. Go find your equal ass species and marry her. I can't do it with an autocratic guy like you. I'm autocratic myself, and if you dare use any fucking advice on me, then just get the hell away from me. It'll be easier for the both of us.

--

Or perhaps you're calling me that because I get to drive a car everywhere I want. Well, boohoo, sorry to tell you, but since that happened, I sort of have to take care of myself. People are willing to leave me alone at home for days and expecting me to feed myself. I'm an underage, for God's sake. 

They don't even know my illnesses if I don't tell them. They don't know a lot of stuffs happening around me because they just don't care. No one looks at me, okay? People go home everyday to have humans asking them, 'how was school? how was friends? Homework?' but not for me. They don't force me to study, you might call it a blessing, but try to change places for once. They don't know the real me. All they want to see is a perfect daughter with fucking achievements. How the hell do they expect me to get those damn achievements, they don't care. They just need me to get them. Do you know how many fucking times I have suicidal thoughts? No? Then don't fucking judge me. But then again, you obviously will judge me. You already did, anyway.

-

Those fucking days of sleepless nights, of those headaches and heartaches because I worked so hard for other people's sake, and yeahey, I'm the spoiled one. Just give me my fucking certificate already.

-

Oh yeah, just got up to another level of spoiledness by posting this rant. Yeay me. Fuck you.

post-SPM activities

DAH LAMA TAK POST RANTS ON ZIS BLOG.

After SPM, time is abviously mine since the intake for most IPTAs starts somewhere around June. /facepalm

A brief post about what I've done with my life so far.

1. Japan trip (2/12 - 14/12) '14

2. PLKN (15/12 - 14/2) '15

3. Outings and catching up with humans for a month

4. Europe trip (13/3-21/3) '15

5. Work (23/3 - 19/4) '15

6. Puasa ganti for 6 days

7. Rot

okdahbye

I am mad.

-

I know you're going to read this, but whatever. I never frigging invited you, or anyone else, to read this post anyway.

Get the hell away from here, all of you.

This is my Blog, I didn't cross the barrier and shove my ass, disrupting your ugly Blogs kan? So again, get the hell away from here. I mean it.

--

First of all, let me clarify that I do not have a problem with my temper (If you suggest otherwise, then you are a retarded birdbrain with a slow mental development who does not even understand the frigging instruction of ''get the hell away from here''.)

-

HOW DARE YOU CALLED ME SPOILED. HOW FRIGGING DARE YOU.

Just because we were brought up in two entirely different environments, that does not mean you're super independent and shit, while me, I'm the spoiled one, always getting all the shit that I want and never satisfied with what I have.

Pastu nak pujuk cakap aku tak salah gunakan freedom aku. Wth. That is really low.

-

Oh,God. I'm going elsewhere to rant. I can't do this, with that person knowing it's really him I'm talking about.

-

Bye

I miss

You know that feeling when the person you're closest to suddenly vanishes from your life? You feel sad, no? And that the world might just collapse anytime. 

-

Well, I was supposed to feel that way a couple of years ago. But I didn't.

Guess what? That sudden spurt of 'I miss' and 'Why must you go' is here now. Better late than never, eyh?

--

Dude, you were and probably still are (if you were here now) my best friend. A friend that takes an entire lifetime to forget. We were friends for about a decade before you moved away.

I was a jerk, or maybe you were, or maybe it was us. We were full of ourselves, but I can never forget how happy and content we were in each other's company. I could spend hours and days and months and years with you. Your house was mine and my house was yours. You knew my biggest darkest secrets, secrets I'd never been able to tell anyone before and after you left.

-

We did everything together, and I guess you were the reason to why I am who I am today. People see me as a bubbly person, talkative and always full of jokes. It was you. You helped to shape me that way. You taught me how to be myself, how important it is to not care about the things people say about me.

--

I need you right here, right now. I need to tell you all about my life. I need a friend that is actually a friend. Over the years where you're not here, I've been stabbed, stepped on, shit on. By those who I call friends. It's not nice, I tell you. 

But I know you wouldn't ever do that to me. I just know it.

--

Remember when we were in standard 3? Darsh asked for your phone number and I was technically the only one who memorised it. You also snuck the pics of the twins without your mother's permission just because I asked to see them babies' faces. I remember you saying that one's head was like an apple and the other was like an orange.

Standard 5, we fought for about a year, you and Hanis vs me and Ameera. We did not speak to each other but you and I were put in the same group for sivik. I remember calling you guys ''katak'' because you guys were searching for tadpoles in puddles of water at the school field, which meant you guys were late to queue after pj. We also fought over who was closer to Sry Khairun Aini and Zulaikha Nadhirah, even though we never actually announced it. Then Hanis and I sent each other letters to make truce. I remember the words ''pukul 12 kita cakap tau'' ''Nervousnya nak cakap. '' ''Haah nervous gila.'' ''Kau ke aku cakap dulu ni?'' ''Macam nak cakap dengan alien pulak'' on the letters.

Standard 6, you had that crush and Nina claimed that you held the 'party of the year'. I remember that game where we had to hang our legs mid-air once the music stopped. The stupidest game ever, yet also the most meaningful.

Form 1, we went to the haunted house of smksi and the 'ghosts' flirted with us. You didn't want to be at the back of the line because you were a freaked out ass.

You taught me how to ice skate. The main reason you entered jess was because of my intensive persuasions. I also had my mother met the school principle just to change your class from 1 Cendekia to 1 Optimis.

Form 2, we went back to your atok's house and you skipped school eventhough I was the sick one. I remember us falling asleep together on the bed at 1.30 pm and woke up at 6.40pm.

I remember using your toilet and you telling the whole world about that in your blog. Your words were 'Rabi's in the toilet, doing her business. *shivers*' 

And then you had that operation. We spent those two weeks of June holidays just chilling and watching movies while eating white chocolate chips. This was the time when we had that really huge crush on Devon Bostick, courtesy of the Diary of A Wimpy Kid. We stalked him via the Internet big time, we also hunted the movies that he starred in. We baked too and Hazim and Arif's friends would gobble them down like a pack of wolves.

We too, would play with Syaza when we skipped mumtaz.

Form 3. Syaza's birthday party. I was the odd one out. And you'd call apek every time we head back home. It didn't matter which ''home'' it was, your home was my home and my home was your home. We did those crazy videos and we even recorded our version of Gangnam Style dances.

I still remember, one time, it was 8pm and out of the blue, we decided to go to Jusco Balakong to watch movies. Well, that was what we did. We watched Happy Feet 2 because we already watched all the other movies that were available at the cinemas that time.
I also remember your sudden fall while we were sitting and learning at Sri Latha. She gave you a more stable plastic chair the week after that.

We also skipped ptm kajang numerous times. I remember our class starting at 2 and we played bowling six rounds before that. Why? Because we were bored and decided to play bowling, randomly.

Everything was so random with you, and no one is as good at being random as us. With other people it was all planning weeks before. Where's the fun in that eyh? With other people, it was always manners and discipline. Well, we were always the retarded duo and never the normal ones.

--

The other thing about us is that we'd always call one another the worst names and neither one were ever upset with the names thrown over us. You called me once, and once the phone was answered, you went all ''oi bangang''. What you didn't know was that my mom was the one who answered. I still remember laughing at you when you apologised profusely to my mother. 

Now, I don't have anyone to call names on. The worst I could get away with are ''hantu, mak nenek, mak cik''. People would get sensitive and they'd scold me. I hate that. We used to call each other ''bitch'' and ''slut'' and it was all okay.

--
All of my extended family and even the friends of my family members' knew you. And it was like that about me on your side too. We stuck around each other so much that the little time I had without you, people'd ask about you.
-

No one can ever replace you. Now I've realized how hurtful it is to have lost someone who means the world to you.

-

But you know what, I shall not sulk. I know you're happier there, you're happier than you've ever been, and that you've found new people in your life that's probably a thousand times better than I am. I'm glad. Stay happy, my friend.

---

I smurf you.

I sometimes mull over what would've happened if you were still here. I'd never plunge myself into the hellhole a few months back. You'd take care of me. I know you would. 

--

It's just so hard now. Things are tough and I feel like vanishing into thin air. Life is never really fair. Kan?

-

To lose you is like losing another part of me. But that's okay.

All hopes of having you back is distinguished, it's never the same person who comes back anyway.

Yellow peeps. It's trials. And I'm so dead. Never felt dead-er.

Sekian mekasih.

Dat friend

''Hi Rabi!!''

''Hi... *weak smile*''

''Okay, why are you so soft today?''

''Soft?''

''Yeah, usually when you greet me you'd be shouting and annoying me.''

''Oh yeke haha. Sorry la, today takde mood.''

''What's wrong?''

''I've had a few problems.''

''Awh, do you want to talk about it?''

''No.''

''Are you sure you're fine?''

''No.''

''Well then, whose ass do you want me to kick for you?''

''A few _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Would you dare to do so?''
''And who are they?''
''________________________''

''I can't do that, but just imagining me doing that to them would be fine. Imagining things actually help you to feel better yknow.''

''Really? Are you sure that's gonna work?''

''Yeah. Okay lah, my ride's here. Gotta go. See you later and keep imagining me kicking them asses off'''

''Okay. Thanks anyway, bye _____!''

Self-remedy

Wahlao. It's been a looooooooong time since I last updated my Blog.

Life has been so hectic and miserable as of current.

........Miserable?

Well, that's what I thought until one Monday, at around 2 am, while I was taking a rest from doing Sejarah I-think maps, that I realized how amazing my life has been so far. Alhamdulillah.

-

The harder the circumstances and burden that I have to face each passing second, the tougher I become and the less I cry. Especially when I know of those who would always be there for me whenever I need them, no matter how bad the damages and screw-ups I've done.

--

-

((not forgetting that one party who is not in the pictures))

---

After all those happiness & laughters & dopey faces (and those aren't even a quarter of it), tell me why I should mourn and call my life ''miserable''?

-

Sure, I make mistakes at times, maybe even big and unforgivable ones, but I know I have all these people around me that will calm me and always support me back up even when it seems I've lost it all.

-

Alhamdulillah.

~..~

Okay, so I did a confrontation with both Hziq and Zafira about whatever dissatisfaction they felt towards the school prefects during hari guru celebration today.

I listened to all their points and I told them I didn't bother to explain what I have on my side, and they didn't say anything. Well, since they clearly do not care about what I have to say, let me just say my part here. No one visits blogs anymore, so why not? Plus, this is my blog, I can put anything here, and who said I gave anyone the permission to read it anyway?

--

So at first Haziq complained about Gokull closing his laptop because Gokull wanted to put the microphone under the laptop. Well, in his defence, Gokull only wanted to help you, because as far as I could remember, the mike gave-pitched sounds throughout the teachers' parade into the tapak perhimpunan. Have you ever done something nice but people misinterpret what you're doing? Of course you do not want them to be mad at you when they don't even know what your real intentions are. Well, Gokull had good intentions. He only wanted to help, maybe he didn't know the laptop would shut off if he were to do whatever he did until you got mad. I know this because I listened to his side of the story. Maybe he thought it would've worked that way, because he's our trusted man in all those siaraya stuff. Trust me when I say he only wanted to help. After all, why would he want to ruin  the teacher's day, when he'd been a faithful runner all day long? A faithful prefect standing at the siaraya stuff all year long?

Next, Ameer. Haziq complained about him being on and off while taking care of the volume for the musics, meaning, Ameer was dreaming while he was tasking. Well, he's only a human, and I'm not saying what he did was right, I'm only saying that he's not perfect. Plus, it gets boring giving your full focus on the PA system, I know. Been there, done that.

-

Then Zafira complained a shitload about... everything. Komplen kau terlalu panjang, I'm sorry you found uncountable imperfections from us, we're not perfect, never going to be perfect. My defence speech is too much, I ain't gonna fit everything here, so as per usual, Imma bottle everything up. But whatever, right?
-
I know, kawan2 aku dah jadi pemimpin sekarang, masing2 ketua untuk badan perkhimatan tertentu.

29 January 2014

Yesterday was one of those days where I feel like I've achieved something in my life, that my presence isn't as useless as I sometimes presume it to be.

-

Early morning, we prefects were asked to stay at the tapak perhimpunan after the usual morning assembly. We were asked to nominate three names for the KP and three names for the PKP. We were each given two pieces of paper, one pink and one blue, to fill in the names. The names I wrote were Gokull, Aiman, Munirah and Qudri.

Fateen / me

Weyh, apa nama bapak kau eh?

Kenapa? Kau tulis nama siapa?

(hides the paper she's holding) Ada lah. Bagitahu je apa nama bapak kau.

*laughs* Ahmad Zainnie

(writes on her piece of paper)

Then a few people came up to me and told me that they wrote my name, and Gokull said that when he looked left and right, the people went all 'Rabiatul, Rabiatul, Rabiatul'.

--

After that, we went into our classes. Approximately 30 minutes after, Fareisya, Shuhada and Sabrina came to 5 Ibnu Sina and called me, Barizah, Qudre and Gokz. (Pardon me for the spellings of the names, it's gonna be a remainder for ownself, should I stop by this blog again in a few years' time. I want to remind my future self of how cheeky I am at this current moment.)

They told us that we were some of the candidates chosen to be the PKP and KP, and that we were required to go to the Bengkel KH by recess.

The six guy candidates were;

1. Muhammad Aiman

2. Gokull Rau

3. Muhammad Azfar

4. Ameer Izwan

5. Syaffi Ikmal Danial

6. Muhamad Amirul

The seven candidates of the girls;

1. Rabiatul Aqillah (me~ saja menggedik tulis nama gak hiks)

2. Munirah Shalilah

3. Qudri Aina

4. Amni Saffa

5. Afiqah Rafi

6. Barizah Syahirah

7. Maisarah 'Aisyah

--

At the bengkel, all the other form 5s sat at the back of the class, but since I hated sitting at the back of anything, I grabbed a chair and sat next to my juniors.

We were asked to give speeches, promoting ourselves to the juniors so that they'll nominate us for the KP and PKP position.

I noticed Khairina walking outside and peeping in at us (or me, to be exact) form time to time. Aiman was called to talk first.

Aiman;

Assalamualaikum semua.

*somethingsomething*

Saya pernah menyertai perkhemahan ketua pengawas, lepastu kalau korang semua pergi kem tahun lepas, korang tahu yang saya jadi penghulu kem. Oh, dan saya juga pergi ke Sarawak pada tahun lepas bersama2 empat orang rakan untuk menyertai something kepimpinan something.

 (note that those were the bits of speech that I remember. Of course, I can't remember his every word, I'm not as lifeless as that)

Gokull;

he talked about all the international camps he's ever been to, and he also said something about the Sarawak trip.

(I guess it was because of the contestation he felt at hearing Aiman bragging about all the things he participated in)

However, the one that surprised me the most was Amirul. We fought about a week before and everything turned awkward between us, and truth be told, whenever people talk about him in front of me, I'd always ask them to stop. Not because I hate him that much, but it's because I miss us being friends. I miss messing around and always getting away with it, I miss all the random things we'd talk about, I miss our craziness together, I miss everything. He was one of my best friends because he was always there for me, regardless of where we were and what time it was.

--

So anyway, he bravely talked about me, with me hearing his every word. That was something, especially after we became horrifyingly awkward to each other.

Amirul;

saya jadi pengawas sebab nak ikut kawan.

somethingsomething

saya nampak rabi dulu sangat garang, dan bila saya jadi pengawas, saya cuba nak jadi lebih garang dari dia.

Idk why that sort of touched me, perhaps it's because of the sincerity of him when he spoke about me. Idk. 

Anyway,

Ameer/cikgu shahida/students

somethingsomething

Saya masuk badan pengawas ni pun sebab seseorang. 

wahhhh//wooooo//siapa tu etc

lelaki ke perempuan?

(smiling) Ada lah

Ni mesti perempuan ni......

Then... 

Azfar;

somethingsomething

Rabi, Aiman, eh tak, bukan Aiman, dia baru jadi pengawas tahun lepas, senior2 pengawas lelaki, ha dorang semua ni memang saya respect la etc etc.

Azfar basically rambled on and on, just like Khairunnisa'. Afterwards Qudre and I matched the pair of them together, because they'd be so cute with each other. Bahahahaha.

-

Then it was the girls' turn. I had to give my speech first. So with shaking hands, I went up front and started talking.

Rabiatul Aqillah ( saja menggedik tulis nama gak hiks) /all the juniors /some of them;

Assalamualaikum semua, nama akak Rabiatul Aqillah Binti Ahmad Zainnie. Akak dari kelas 5 Ibnu Sina.

Akak telah menjadi pengawas sejak tingkatan 2, insyaallah akak dah ada banyak pengalaman dalam bidang pengawas ni. Dari segi kepimpinan, tahun lepas akak pernah dihantar ke sebuah kem peringkat kebangsaan tanpa guru pengiring, dan akak telah dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menjaga seramai 20 orang peserta dari tingkatan 1 sehingga tingkatan 5 dari sekolah kita. Akak juga sebenarnya baru menyertai uniform bulan sabit merah ketika tingkatan 3, tetapi alhamdulillah telah dipilih untuk menjadi pengerusi sewaktu tingkatan 4 dan 5, iaitu selama dua tahun berturut2. Selain tu, siapa yang pergi jamuan tahun lepas? (some of them raised up their hands) Best tak? Best! Cuba teka siapa manager dia? Akakk!!! *smiled* Dari pencapaian pula, akak pernah menyertai sebuah kem peringkat antarabangsa di Jerman (claps loudly), dan kumpulan akak telah berjaya menjadi kumpulan terbaik sepanjang dua minggu kami berada di sana (more claps). Dan tahun ini, insyallah akak akan mewakili Malaysia ke Mauritius pada bulan enam nanti. Kat mana tu kak? Akak pun tak pasti, tapi rasanya dekat Italy. Good luck tau kak!! etc. Okay thank you (smiles). Dari segi penampilan, akak mugkin nampak garang, tapi bagi sesiapa yang pernah rapat atau kawan akak, then tahu lah yang akak ni gila-gila. gila-gila? *laughs*. Kalau ada apa2 soalan ke, ada apa2 masalah, boleh datang terus kat akak, insyaallah akak akan tolong. Sekian, terima kasih. (claps)

After my speech, I sat down and saw Khairina out of the door, giving me thumbs-up after thumbs-up with a large beam on her face. Looking at her, I knew I nailed it.

-

And then, all the other six girls gave out their speeches, they mainly talked about their experience and hopes in the prefectorial body. 

--

After we're done, Gokull, Qudri, and me went to eat at the canteen because Gokull kept moaning he's hungry. We asked Barizah to let our teacher know about our coming a bit late into the class.

While eating, of course we talked about what happened in the Bnegkel KH. Gokull said my speech was convincing. Thanks, mate.

-

Then in the evening, I had to handle an ice breaking session for KPJ (kelab pencegahan jenayah). This one guy was trying to fool around with me while I was giving out instructions, and I didn't so much as glance at him. I even put on my strict face, and I guess that is why people labelled me 'garang gila'. Afterwards, I went up to meet teacher to clear up the bit of misunderstanding we had earlier. And everything unfolded itself smoothly soon after. She even thanked me for listening to all of her problems. I'm glad.

-

With all of these happening, I became very tired and fell asleep at 9 pm. 

RESOLUTIONZ

I'm late.

I'm supposed to be doing this like, 2 days ago. Ah, better late than never, no?

--

1. Maintain my extra-curricular grade.

2. Score well in exams, and have no fails whatsoever throughout the year.

3. Enjoy myself as much as I can.
4. Study at least 20 minutes per day week day (I don't think this'll actually happen, but one can dream /shrugs)
5. Make serious attempts to attend tkd classes (unless I have reasons to skip or to not go at all, such as laziness.)
6. Try as best as I can to attend each and every tuition class.
7. Maintain my weight. (erm. This sounds funny -..-)
--
I guess those are it then. It's 12:48 am currently, and I am only a few hours away from school.
[As per usual, I'm also skyping with zafira. Of course]
-
Dah bye. I'm sleepy af.

Past year's list

It's a tradition for me to create new resolutions at the end of every year, as well as to check the previous list to see how much I've achieved.

And this post is about the latter.

----

1. Get accepted into boarding schools. (Preferably MRSM)

Status; Fulfilled.

I got accepted into Banting Sciene School, or BASiS. And...... dropped out like 2 weeks after that.

2. Maintain my extra-curricular grade.

Status; Fulfilled.

3. Study well so that Addmaths becomes my favourite subject.

Status; Half achieved.

So I don't exactly like Addmaths, but I don't hate it either. 

4. Be a more responsible prefect and student for as long as I'm in Jalan Empat.

Status; Half achieved.

This year I've done lots of acceptably ''responsible''  things than I ever did in my life (I think). Ah well. It's from my perspective anyway, and I'm positive I did enough to make myself proud.

5. Just be an octopus? ................................... Uh...

... .

............................

................................Well, this is awkward.......................

...........................

..

...........

.Uh...................

.

................

...

Status; Unfulfilled.

Turns out I became a rabbit instead (long story).

--

BSMM national-level camp 2013

This is the third post of the day. Guess I'm extra lifeless today.

-

I read about my past posts, and there's this one post in which I spent a bit rambling about this year's Red Crescent Youth National level camp, which was held under Kementerian Belia & Sukan in June.

Now, allow me to elaborate on what I did at that camp and why it turned out to be so special to me.

-

About 20 people from my school participated in the camp, and during the registration, Pn. J and the other teacher told me that they weren't going to supervise us (meaning, they'd go home once registration was done). Of course, there were at least 1500 other participants from approximately 50 different schools joining the camp, with each school sending at least one teacher as supervisor. Then Pn. J told me that I was going to have to become the 'mak kecik' as I had to care about the 19 students from our school. I, naturally, accepted the challenge and allowed  them teachers to go back home the minute registration was done.

((note that the sequences in this post are all mixed up))
--

One night we had to go and walk around the festival site, idk why we had to do that, we just did. And we rounded the site thrice before giving up. Then my ''children'' were complaining about being tired, so I decided to just wait and rest at the entrance. By then it was nearing 11pm, and still only a few other participants were loitering nearby. I lose my patience and I decided to just go back to our campsite without waiting for the others, it was a risk, but I couldn't take it anymore because about half of us fell asleep. Then, an amazing thing happened. Before we know it, we had almost all of the other participants tailgating us as well. Turned out they got tired of not knowing where to head, and followed our footsteps of just going back without the permission of any adults.

I remember we had to walk 20 minutes to reach the Masjid Besi just to poop and clean ourselves. We, my ''children'' and I however, didn't have showers there bc the toilets in the Masjid Besi were always packed. Then we'd stay up until 2 am just to take baths together at the camp site. It was such an enjoyable time, with my juniors making jokes and humoring me and Nadiah. The water was cold too, and we really had fun. Praying duty was also at the mosque, and we had to wake up super early to get to the mosque for Subuh. Needless to say, on our 20 minutes' journey there, I fell asleep countless times. How I even managed to reach the mosque at all was beyond me. Upon arriving there, we all collapsed into one massive heap while waiting for the azan to start. 

I also remember Aisyah getting this high fever during Najib's speech at the festival, and it was raining lightly. She claimed that she could stand it, but I insisted on sending her back to the camp site. So Nadiah, me and Aisyah  staggered walked all the way back to the campsite. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the med's tent. Then I treated Luqmanul and Nadiah cans of drinks because they deserved them (Luqmanul for waiting for us in the crowd while we sent Aisyah to rest, and Nadiah for accompanying Aisyah and me). 

I too remember everyone getting sick at one point. Ju had diarrhoea and my junior, Tuan had this... swell on her toe. And of course they had to come and report everything to me. So I gave Aisyah a comfortable sleeping spot that night, after she got her checkups. To Tuan I advised her to apply some toothpaste on the swell. Ju claimed that she's brought her medicines along, but I kept on checking on her just in case.

Then in the morning we had to wait for the camp fasilitators to arrive. We waited for about 40 - 50 minutes and every participant was lingering around. So I conducted the Around The World game with them, and the minutes just flew by. The juniors kept on matching me up with Sharmin, as we kept on fighting like cats and dogs. It was especially nice when Sharmin had to stay quiet because he lost his voice. I won all arguments at that time, and he just had to smile in this annoyed way.  

Then on the last day, we had this Simulasi Bencana activity. I was one of the orang kampung(s), which means my task was to disturb every RCY member from the opposing team as much as possible. And of course I did my job. I shouted and pretended to cry and wail so much that they had to order about 3 men to carry me away. One of the fasilitators really appraised me for my acting and presented me the nickname 'langau'. 

Finally, I also remember that we were the only school that placed girls in the front line and boys at the back. Most probably because our school's RCY president was me, a girl. Then I shared drinks with the people in the lines to my right, turned out it was coffee. I was about to pour the coffee on to the ground, but they offered to drink it up instead.

--

Haish. Tahu tak rinduuuuuu dengan semua ni. :')

ps; One of the awesome part of this camp was that my old good friend, Luqmanul joined the camp as well, presenting his school. My mum called Luqmanul, thinking it was Haziq's number she was dialling, just to ask where I was and why didn't I pick up my phone.

Stalked myself

Oi,you not remembering me is just mean..:'( haha...weird much? anyway,must I remind you,you were the one who came afer me,not the other way round,and even if you were serious and all,may I tell you that I'm just a half-kid half-teenager who does not think appropriately and sometimes I just follow on my instincts..

So.

The summary goes on like this = you came after me - we're friends - you forget about me - I don't care at all - ??

So,dood,please,I'm NOT missing you,you can go on with your life and so will I,just don't expect ME to be thinking about YOU.

- - -

Whoever wrote that is clearly missing the person who forgets her. Her denial is so bad, it's ridiculous. She can't forget the person and is really hoping that the person will just talk to her. She'd do anything so that the person reappears. It's just so obvious.
UNFORTUNATELY,

THAT WAS ME, MY LINES FROM 2010. I CANNOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY CAME UP WITH THOSE SENTENCES. FMKWEXSZWP CAN I GO BACK TO THE PAST AND SLAP MYSELF???

Two of my many favourite people

Today I woke up, thinking about two people. And I decided that I'm going to write about them in my Blog. So expect the expected (?)

First person

You have been my partner for a whole year, and I'm very glad to have been given the opportunity to know you well. You received so many nicknames from me (princess hijau, petani moden, gajah biru), and together we created some of the weirdest nicknames for the guys in our class. I still remember the time I beat you with only one mark for our mid term exam. You were, and are such a genius ass. So far I think I like you being my partner best, as seeing that we're both lefties. You were also the most hardworking partner I've ever sat with. You used to have a handmade petite box containing shortened colour pencils in your pencilbox. They were for your notes, I remember how you like underlining key points using them. You, me and Aisyah would also go out to recess five minutes earlier (cause we were the school prefects) together. I still remember the drawing of the heart you made. It was so colourful and alive. Then for bm, I think you were the first and only kid to have done all  the 5 essays that Pn. Nazilah gave out. Oh my God, I miss you. 

The other day, I went to your class and you said something that really spooked me out at that time. Well, it was spooky then. Now, I feel touched. Anyway, you said ''aku sayang kau sebab kau kuda putih aku''. So simple yet so deep. I still remember the way you said it, and how our postures were at that time. We were never the ''sayang2'' type. And at that time, I think I was speechless. So I decided to let my ego take over and said something like ''kau kenapa? menakutkan je o.o'' or something. K never mind, guess I'll just reply to that, here. Aku pun sayang kau gak weh :) 

ps; You make a great mom/grandma for the Perocubians. You're so sporting!

Second person

Honestly, the moment I found out you were the only person from our gang who's going into the same class as me, I wasn't exactly happy. Why? That's because I thought we weren't that close and I found it awkward if we were to be left alone. But as the time went on, the awkwardness melted bit by bit so that by now, I'd already know a big part of your life and had heard numerous stories from you. You were always there for me, even at times when I messed things up. I know for a fact that you love me, and that whatever you do, you'd always drag me in as well. I appreciate that, even at times I felt that you were somewhat on the obsessive side. But, to find a friend as true as you is a gift. Yeah, I remember the time we did not have any motivation to study at all, and we didn't put in a single effort to understand anything in class. And then when I came back from Banting, you cried. We decorated 4 Cen together during Merdeka celebration, and we were always in the same group. You'd get jealous if I started becoming close with other people. I also remember the time when you brought that delicious spaghetti your mom made. And also, you were the one who taught me to eat chocolates while studying. For July test, we felt ridiculously disabled because we couldn't eat chocolates while we studied as it was the fasting month. You also taught me the way to memorize verses from the holy Quran by understanding Arabic. And there's this one incident that made me touched as hell; I forgot who asked you the question ''Apa jadi kalau Aqillah tak balik Banting?''. And your answer was; ''Aku akan jadi jauh lebih teruk dari sekarang. Aku takkan berusaha untuk dapat result baik mcm sekarang.'' 

--

I love you guys. 

Dah bye.

October 26th, 2013

I landed myself as the organizer for 2013's Prefectorial Body's yearly banquet.
--
I woke up by 7 am because obviously, the adrenaline rush was there. Then I had to answer some calls asking me the check-ups for the banquet that was due to begin by 12.15pm. Then I organised some papers, money and stuff to be brought to BGR (Bangi Golf Resort) to finalize and get ready for everything.

I ate two nasi lemak before going because I knew it in my heart that as an organizer, I wouldn't get the chance to eat later even if I paid the same amount as everyone else, perhaps even more. On the way there, I got very nervous about the banquet, especially since Teacher Nik wasn't going to be there.

-

I arrived at BGR by 10.40 am, and the hall had already been liven by the performance crew and teams, the emcees, photographers, and basically, the form 4 AJKs of the banquet that I chose a few months back.

Needless to say, as the organizer, I had to do everything and practically flew everywhere just to meet people and finalize things so that everything would run smoothly.

Luckily, Gokull was there to help me all the while and he understood what had to be done despite me not having the time to explain everything to him. 

I explained the giving gift protocol to the AJK in charge of presents, and Gokull helped with the timing for the 4 performances, and together we really did the whole lot. However, we were no supermen. Of course we had helps from all the lovely and supporting form 4 AJKs. Without even one of them, I don't think we would've succeeded yesterday.

--

So then the PK HEM arrived. And finally it was time to get the show on the road. We had to start with the drama performance first because Zaim wasn't there yet. The form 5 peeps had this bengkel before the banquet, so we already expected them to come late. Then the AJK penyambut tetamu arranged the form 5s into a two-by-two line and when zaim arrived, he was placed at the front row. So once the performance ended, the emcees made announcements about the small parade of the form 5 prefects into the hall. Once that was done, I knew everything was going to fall into place. Then the PK HEM made his opening speech and voila~ Let's get the show started!

--

We had ikram reading his super awesome poetry, and showed off his skills of holding the microphone without hesitating. Then Madhu, Sulayman and two others played the guitar and sang Little Things, and we also had this exciting bicara berirama performance by the Form 1 humans. All of them seriously enlightened the whole banquet! :D (of course, every show got its turn for spotlights)

--

Gokull and I also ordered an ala carte from BGR because Kishan was a vegetarian. He at first said it was okay, but of course Gokull and I insisted and we bought a vegetarian fried rice with mixed vegetable dish especially for him. Better feel special, dude.

(At the end, he was satisfied with our ''service'', so I take it we did good??? :p)

--

Btw, here are the pics from yesterday.

((The Best Prefect of The Year certificate))

Ze spaghetti bolognaise (sorry for the blur)




The French bread with vanilla sauce. This was scrumptious!












(damn Fauzan for photobombing and blocking my face -..-)

((Qudri's and my face in da banner yo!))














(bc shifaa asked for it)










(the guys photobombing for the hundredth time -_-)
--
1. I would like to dedicate lots of appreciation to all the prefects who participated into making this banquet one of the best banquets in my life (I'm not exaggerating), especially the Form 4 prefects. Don't ever underestimate what you did, because without even any one of you, this whole thing wouldn't have reached anywhere near this ''grand'' stage. So don't thank me, thank yourselves. You guys are amazing. ((I can't wait to work with all of you next year))

2. To those who came, your presence really did make this banquet a whole lot merrier than what I had been expecting all along. Thanks to all my mates, juniors, seniors, teachers and those who are just as important, the BGR crews; Mr Apai and Miss Chua for lending me hands throughout the whole thing.

  3. Thanks to my teacher, Puan Nik Nur Ruhayu for supporting me since the beginning. This is not the end, I know I still have lots to endure later, and I also know now that I can always count on you. You shaped me into what I was at the banquet. I knew you were always rooting for me even if you yourself were not present at the banquet. Thanks for trusting that I can do it, teacher. You trusted me even when I didn't trust in myself. Thanks again.
--
Shortly after the banquet ended, I called Teacher and she said she received numerous positive and encouraging reviews from the people who came. I myself as a student, received a few 'congratulations', alhamdulillah.
--
ps; Want to see how I define 'sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit'?
Here goes;




-
pps; I seriously felt the bond getting stronger between each and every one of us because of this.
--
ppps; you are all astounding! No more doubt about that.
:)